We here at Defend the R take our job as Ottawa’s #1 Redblacks’ blog seriously. So seriously in fact, that we recently sent out a survey to all corners of the city, from the Western edge of Arnprior to the Eastern limits of Orleans, to the Northern tips of Gatineau, to the Southern end of Bank Street, all in order to see what common characteristics all members of R-Nation share. Without further delay, here are the results.
An average member of R-Nation:
– Spends 20 minutes commuting to and from Lansdowne Park
– Cursed former offensive coordinator Mike Gibson’s play calling at least twice per game (thankfully they won’t have to go through that again)
– Drinks 4 beers per home game and 6 per away
– Probably couldn’t tell you Jon Gott’s number offhand, but does know that he’s the guy with the monster beard (and that it’s to be feared)
– Waits 3.8 minutes in line to take a half-time leak at TD Place
– Is 100% sure the other side of the stadium sucks
– Owns 2.5 pieces of Redblacks’ paraphernalia (including 1 jersey)
– Knows it isn’t coincidence that Glebite and Glieberman sound so similar
– Posts 6.1 complaints on social media lamenting each loss
– Hated the Sweet Caroline half-time song during the Renegade era yet after reading this is currently humming the melody
– Has been to 1.7 Grey Cups
– Loves the Sens but admits TD Place is undeniably rowdier than the Canadian Tire Centre
– Owns 5 games programs though couldn’t find a single one upon request
– Has no doubt that lumberjack > gophers, cats, dogs, a lost greek hero, an angry football, birds, and polar bears
– Shook two players’ hands at a meet and greet
– Will reply “FENSE!” when you shout “DE”
– Sometimes spells Landsowne Lansdowne wrong but quickly corrects themselves before anyone notices
– Once saw a lineman shopping for food or eating at their favourite local restaurant
– Can tell anyone willing to listen a dozen stories concerning the “Friends of Lansdowne” idiocy
– Didn’t like the Redblacks name when they first heard it but has since made peace with it and now fully embraces it
– Pronounces it the “Reedough” Canal
– Genuinely hates Saskatchewan for stealing our name, even if watermelon is the most refreshing fruit in the summer
– Won’t truly admit how much plaid is in their wardrobe
– Has wondered aloud if the Football Gods don’t like the name TD Place hence the lack of offensive fireworks….so far
– Proudly wears the team colours, even when abroad
– Respects the hell out of the Winnipeg Jets and their White Out tradition, but knows that even that will pale in comparison to the first playoff game at Lansdowne in 32 years
– Can’t wait to get back to Ottawa’s winning tradition and hoisting Grey Cups
*All figures in this article are exact estimates
@RedBlackGade
