You can’t go anywhere this time of year without hearing Christmas music but over the years, the traditional carols have been substituted by a new generation of crooners signing both originals and covers of those classics.
Whether you think these new-fangled tunes are naughty or nice, they’ve become emblematic of the holiday season. Some of them might just be emblematic of your favourite CFL franchise too.
In honour of the holiday, here are which teams I think of when I hear nine contemporary Christmas songs.
Toronto Argonauts — All I Want for Christmas is You by Mariah Carey
After a 16-win season, albeit without a Grey Cup championship, could there be any doubt that the Argos would be paired with the current Queen of Christmas? Chad Kelly and the Argos dominated the CFL like Carey dominates the December charts annually and though they ultimately fell short, will be the standard by which other teams are judged for the foreseeable future.
B.C. Lions — This Christmas by Donny Hathaway
The Lions settled into a groove this past season. Easygoing and without the stress other teams were facing, B.C. simply went about their business and produced a solid season of enjoyable football. Solid on both sides of the ball, whether it be their horn section of a defence making noise at just the right time or the silky smooth vocals of the offence, this team had it going on.
Calgary Stampeders — DJ Play a Christmas Song by Cher
Much like Cher, there is no denying that the Stampeders have been a force to be reckoned with for a very long time. However, like this new tune from Cher’s first Christmas album, their 2023 season left you saying “I mean, sure?” while reminiscing about some of the other bangers they performed in years gone by.
Edmonton Elks — Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney
Proving even the best songwriters of a generation can make a misstep, this song fits perfectly with the state of the Elks’ franchise. Slathered in synth noise that was avant-garde for its time, the song has aged terribly. Much too did the decisions made by past generations of Elks’ management. Now that those mistakes are finally off the books, here’s hoping one of the league’s former giants can return to form.
Hamilton Tiger-Cats — Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays by NSYNC
Much like the pile of free agents the Ticats signed last offseason, NSYNC was a collection of pretty things that looked great. Then the song began and you realized that most of what lay beneath the frosted tips was pretty repetitive. You may need to click to another station before this song is finished.
Saskatchewan Roughriders — Last Christmas by Wham!
There are two reasons for this selection. The first, of course, is the game “Whamaggedon” which recognizes the ubiquitousness of this song, much like how Rider merch can be found at any sporting event worldwide. The second is the feelings of unrequited love that the singer has for the focus of his attention. Fans in Saskatchewan have given this team their hearts, but get those same hearts broken year after year.
Winnipeg Blue Bombers — Wizards in Winter by Trans-Siberian Orchestra
While certainly a harder brand of music than most of the breezy tunes on this list, the driving beat and speed at which this hard rock clanger comes at you brings the pounding rush attack of the Bombers to mind. Then, just when you thought you had that rhythm figured out, they go crazy with a passing attack you can barely keep up with.
Ottawa Redblacks — I Wish It Was Christmas Today by the cast of Saturday Night Live
This song as performed by the cast of Saturday Night Live is a mishmash of things happening to make it look as though it is more complicated than it is. Whether it is Tracy Morgan running in place or Chris Kattan just holding the keyboard, it turns out that all of the work is being done by just Horatio Sanz and Jimmy Fallon. Not unlike the issues that plagued the Redblacks, where it seems not everyone on the field was cut out to be a contributor.
Montreal Alouettes — Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darlene Love
A song that defined how Christmas would sound in the years to follow, this 1963 classic grabs you immediately and brings joy to your mind, much like the Alouettes and their onside punting did this season. The eventual champs will have coordinators and coaches needing to adjust their game plans going forward, just as this song changed how Christmas music was produced following its release.
