With my annual apology to Clement Clarke Moore, here is my 2023 CFL-themed rendition of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.
Twas the night before Christmas and in the CFL,
it’s the Alouettes who get the most Joyeux Noel!
They hoisted the cup that was gifted by Grey,
Once again Champions on a warm November day.
In playoffs, they dealt the Argos a kick to the crotch,
and the next week rallied to “F*** you, just watch!”
With Lemon and Sankey, the defence dominated,
Even though for awards, they weren’t nominated.
Fajardo finally showed he could win the big game,
forcing us all to put respect on his name.
Maas and Maciocia got deserved extensions,
which allows us to now turn our attention.
The Argos are coming off a season of success,
16 wins is a total that’s sure to impress.
However, next season they may fail to keep pace,
given the loss of DC Corey Mace.
He’s gone to Saskatchewan, a literal green pasture,
Hoping to stave off another post-Labour Day disaster.
Free-agent players may now flock to the rectangle,
Assuming O’Day has some money to dangle.
In Calgary, a rarity! A losing season?
Coach Dickenson sought all year long to identify the reason.
Improvements will have to be made, with signings or layoffs,
If this team hopes to return to the playoffs.
Three hours north in old Edmonton,
Chris Jones and the squad seemed stuck in reruns,
Losing games and restocking the cupboard,
Can come to an end with some magic from Tre Ford.
On the West Coast, the Lions were titans,
Proving it wasn’t just Rourke that drove them.
Though it’s easy to win with a player that gets
to the quarterback as often as Mathieu Betts.
The nation’s capital suffered through another campaign,
That ended with them out alone in the rain.
The playoffs seem such an unreasonable dream,
Which is starting to grate on the fans of the team.
In Hamilton, the Ticats fell short of the mark,
The difference between signings and results was quite stark.
The season resulted in changes quite cautious,
With no firings, but a shuffle of the front office.
Winnipeg had their championship dynasty rejected
and now need to keep the veteran team collected.
Might O’Shea and the boys have seen their last dance?
The other Western clubs sure hope there’s a chance.
Meanwhile over at CFL headquarters,
Genius works to improve that favourite league of yours.
No need for negativity from you, Doubting Thomas,
There will be stats next year, they promise!
Here at 3DownNation, we have our own St. Nick,
and it’s all of you readers who continue to click.
Your attention is the gift that keeps giving,
And it’s all these gifts that keep the site living.
We fall into line behind our 3Down hunk,
The breaker of news, the one, Justin Dunk.
“On Hodge, JC, Santino and Gasson,” he cries
“On Smith, Ryan, Hoskins, Grant, and McGuire!”
He drives us to find news, the sooner the better.
To keep you informed, letter by letter.
We want to make sure we’re your first destination
When you seek out CFL information.
And so good reader, we offer our gratitude,
and promise to continue to write with the attitude
that to be fast is good, but you better be right.
And with that, a Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
