HBO’s smash hit series Succession, a tale of the family dynamics at play in one of the world’s largest corporations, is coming to a close this Sunday night after four seasons. In honour of the series finale, I’ve decided to recast the show with CFL head coaches.
This kind of content is typically reserved for a mid-February day when my 3DownNation colleague and near doppelganger Josh Smith is bored. However, a preseason bye week for the Stampeders has allowed me to wander into the ridiculous.
As a huge fan of the show, this list is entirely based on my initial impressions of each coach, despite having never met the vast majority of them. This is meant in levity, and should hopefully be taken as such.
Starting west and headed east, and with our caveats out of the way, here we go!
Rick Campbell as Kendall Roy
Rick Campbell is the son of CFL legend Hugh Campbell, who was a dynastic head coach in Edmonton and led his team to a record five consecutive Grey Cup championships. He brings a little Kendall energy to the role of B.C. Lions coach in that, as of yet, he would not be mentioned in the same hushed tones as his father but still has time to build his legacy.
Much like the early acquisition of Vaulter in season one turned out to be a spoiled asset, Campbell now has to recover from losing Nathan Rourke at QB and pivot to a new strategy to be successful.
Dave Dickenson as Gerri Kellman
Recently thrust into the role of general manager, much like Gerri was in season three as interim CEO of Waystar Royco, Dickenson is a steady presence in the CFL landscape and often seems to shake his head at the behaviour of his colleagues.
Fierce and competent, Gerri Kellman played the role of mentor to Roman Roy in a way that resembles the number of coaches that have been moulded in Calgary during Dickenson’s time here.
Chris Jones as Tom Wambsgans
Tom Wambsgans moves and shakes while continually moving upward from a power perspective. Flipping from Edmonton to Saskatchewan and then eventually back again with more power over the franchise, Jones followed the Wambsgans playbook just as Tom moved from Shiv to Logan and back again, each time grasping more firmly a seat at the family table.
As shown by his days at the helm of the pre-practice squad, Jones is a cutthroat competitor with a dose of Southern charm. There is nothing he won’t do to be successful.
Craig Dickenson as Greg Hirsch
I’m not saying that Craig Dickenson has his job because of some sort of CFL nepotism, because the long-time special teams coordinator did his time before taking the reins in Saskatchewan.
However, watching Dickenson deal with the Garrett Marino situation last year and the resulting fallout was almost a picture-perfect impression of cousin Greg sitting in front of Congress during the cruise line debacle. Trying desperately — and frequently failing — to find the right words, Dickenson seemed prepared to be a football coach on the field but maybe less so in his ability to address issues off of it.
Mike O’Shea as Logan Roy
While O’Shea isn’t the most tenured head coach on a CFL sideline, his gruff demeanour and great success do invoke a Logan Roy vibe. He has built an empire in Winnipeg and there is no question that others around the league would love to emulate the way he does things.
Being part of a staff that spent over the salary cap limit last season also rings true to Logan’s pursuit of Pierce Global Media and a desire to overpay for the thing he wants the most.
Orlondo Steinauer as Frank Vernon
Always right on the edge of power, Steinauer brings some Frank Vernon energy to the table. He’s been around for a long time but hasn’t yet grasped the ring that eludes him and the notion that he will soon is usually quickly dismissed.
Ignored for his contributions and successes, no one takes Steinauer seriously in the conversation of the best coaches. Until he can take a team to the mountaintop, that will continue.
Ryan Dinwiddie as Lukas Matsson
The current wunderkind of the CFL scene, Dinwiddie is seen as successful given he is coming off a Grey Cup win but he also had to drop some bad numbers after the celebrations died down a little, when people were unlikely to notice.
Like Matsson and his pursuit of Waystar Royco, this season will tell the tale of a man who is looking to be crowned king.
Bob Dyce as Shiv Roy
Bob Dyce has all the credentials to be successful but he hasn’t done the job at this level yet, much like Shiv Roy when it comes to running Waystar Royco. That isn’t to say he can’t do it, however.
Dyce has had a few interim spots as the face of an organization, as Shiv did herself, but didn’t have true authority before now. As a man who has been continually passed over for others throughout his career, Dyce finally has the chance to prove himself at the highest level.
Jason Maas as Roman Roy
There are a lot of things that Roman Roy does that I won’t attribute to Jason Maas but the satellite launch that exploded on the day of Shiv’s wedding made Montreal’s coach come to mind.
It always seems that in pressure situations, bizarre calls are made by Maas that don’t work out. Like a late field goal when down by 11, or the entirety of Saskatchewan’s offence when he was the coordinator, Maas’ teams in crunch time seem to collapse like Roman giving a eulogy.