One Hamilton-born artist has taken his hatred of the Toronto Argonauts to an impressive new level.
Musical comedian B.A. Johnston released a new album on Saturday, April 1 with a nod to his hometown team’s arch-rival, entitling the project “Argos Suck.” The record features 18 new tracks, including “I Love You as Much as the Toronto Argos Suck” — a song of questionable romantic value in which the singer deems his significant other to be the opposite of the Argonauts because the team “sucks so much.”
Throughout the nearly three-minute-long rock ballad, he expresses this affection by paying for $12 Coors Lights at Tim Hortons Field on Labour Day and promising to hold her while watching the Argos lose forever. He also thanks her for never making him cry like the Hamilton Tiger-Cats’ Grey Cup losses of 2013, 2014, 2019 and 2021.
Though his given name is Christian, Johnston has performed under the stage name B.A. — Bored Again — since 2002. The character has released 14 albums, all while allegedly living at home with his mother. His album “Sh*t Sucks” was a long-list nominee for the Polaris Music Prize in 2015. A 2017 Globe and Mail article called him a “modern-age Stompin’ Tom Connors,” though his take on Canadiana is much more comical.
According to a statement Johnston made to Exclaim! magazine, “Argos Suck” was recorded in St. John’s, Newfoundland above an Afghan restaurant with assistance from Mathias Kom and Jake Nicholl of the indie rock band The Burning Hell. Accompanying musicians were paid $75 and compensated with free India beer. Other songs on the album include “I Ain’t Helping You Move,” “Old Man Beers,” and “I Saw Her at the Swiss Chalet.”
The iconic QEW rivalry between the Ticats and Argos has inspired some legendary stories and more than its fair share of artistic works, including a recent hour-long documentary. However, it is safe to say that poetry quite like Johnston’s has never before been penned about a CFL contest.
The dedicated Ticats fan’s work can be streamed wherever you listen to music, but can also be purchased from his website as a digital download, cassette tape, CD, or Vinyl record. He is currently touring across Canada.
