‘Twas the night before Christmas: 2022 CFL edition

Graphic: 3DownNation. All rights reserved. (Source image: Michael Scraper)

‘Twas the night before Christmas, but all through the lands,
Not a free agent signing, just resting their hands;
Club offers considered with forethought and care,
In anticipation of who else would be there.

Which teammates would fill those training camp beds,
While visions of Grey Cups danced in their heads,
Some coaches in hoodies, and others in suits,
Where’s the best place to set down their roots?

When on agent’s desks there arose such a clatter,
Phones ringing with things that the GMs think matter.
A whole position group could be gone in a flash,
Signed to other teams, as fast as they dash.

As the recent Cup champs would have to confess,
That they built their team off other’s success;
When it came to development, they’d done the least,
Instead just becoming Stampeders East,

So with that, all teams know they need to be quick,
If their star pending free agents were around going to stick.
Like vultures, the other general managers waited,
The chance to sign stars with breath that was baited:

“Now! Mitchell, now! Judge, now! Jeffcoat, and Davis,
Sign Sankey! Sign Lewis! Sign Bryant and Dennis!
To the top of the league! Nothing is dreaded!
The championship game, that’s where we’re headed!”

The managers and agents would continue to talk,
And social media is the place where fans would stalk,
Hoping and praying with growing attention,
For news that a star had signed an extension.

Elsewhere, taking place in the league office.
Conversations that are far less raucous,
Especially when compared to last year,
When the XFL merger was all we could hear.

For now, they are talking with cheeks far less rosy,
at least in the case of Randy Ambrosie;
He has seemed somewhat an absent Commish,
Which had led to questions of what is amiss

His appearance calendar was noticeably short,
Except to inform us about Genius Sports/
“They are making great progress” Randy would say,
Without details in any demonstrable way.

He preached patience and spoke toward a positive view,
Even mentioning a possible team that is new.
That’s despite reports that say interest lacks,
In the Atlantic market of old Halifax.

Could we be looking into another city?
Where fans would support a rouge, oh so pretty;
Saskatoon maybe, or perhaps Quebec,
Is there someone out there who will write the big cheque?

Or will further expansion just play us the fool,
dreaming of an owner that is sometimes Deadpool,
or maybe a franchise would be a lock
should the XFL fail and free up The Rock.

Regardless, we’ll see what the future will bring,
as we all look ahead to chasing the thing
that brings us together and fills us with spunk,
hoping to join the Grand National Drunk.

So, from all of us here, to you by your fires,
We’ll continue to break news and give you satire
As we know you wait with anticipation
For the latest thoughts from the 3DownNation.

As you settle down for this holiday break,
know that for granted, we’ll never take,
The people who read us, no matter the attitude,
We continue to feel sublime gratitude;

For being the place you keep coming to,
With CFL stories that daily are new.
Dear Reader, you are just dyno-mite!
So Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Ryan Ballantine is a lifelong Stamps fan and host of the Go Stamps Go Show Podcast. He has been covering the team since 2008.