Not with a bang but a whimper: 12 poetic thoughts on the Elks’ early winter

Photo courtesy: CFL

48-11 was the final score, as the Edmonton Elks fell to the Winnipeg Blue Bombers amidst many a snore.

If you haven’t already caught on to today’s theme, well, it’s about as serious as the green and gold football team.

For a group purportedly on the rise, this game was inarguably regression. Or as I stated in the weekly writer picks: “Next question.”


There once was a tall man of Corn,

His play left us all feeling forlorn,

Under 50-percent,

Please, just let it end,

4-12: playoff hopes are no more.


137 passing yards is very slight,

Cause for seeking a flag coloured white,

A 59-yard TD,

Thrown where it needed to be,

Was the one shining moment all night.


The Bombers’ offence did all that it pleased,

Their quarterbacks – indeed, not one, but three,

Dru Brown and Dakota Prukop threw a touchdown apiece,

Zach Collaros led the way, hammering crease after crease,

In the rusted-out armour of the Elks’ spacious D,

I sit here, sadly envying their accuracy.


15-of-19 – plus three out of four – beats 11-of-24,

367 yards between them, allow me to implore:

To avoid this late-season being for naught but collapse,

A little bit more of Tre Ford, perhaps?

203 yards

The Elks allowed 203 yards in just the first quarter, paired with a 12.7 yards-per-play.

At 298 yards in the mid-second frame, the average was 13.0, and needless to say, Edmonton was a no-show on the day.

Nine-for-nine on second downs, Collaros finally threw an incompletion on pass number eleven.

To the defence, such a reprieve must have felt like sunny heaven.

Aside from causing a strange interception, blitzing way more than usual wasn’t particularly effective.

The individual effort may be there, but the unit and team failed totally as a collective.

342 total yards at the half. 503 yards at the end of the game.

The Bombers visibly let up. The antlered beasts had been tamed.

Albeit with one late burst of flames.

ROY – Rookie of the year

Seven catches, 162 yards, three touchdowns,

ROY is also known to mean king,

After Dalton Schoen’s performance,

All he needs is a shiny, diamond ring.

Great expectations

You’d like to see them at least learn from their mistakes,

On second and one; unfortunately, these aren’t outtakes,

Fallen for it before, it’s no great invention,

Would the defence kindly pay attention?

Mastermind: 59, 49, 46, 56, 48

46 (or more) points allowed for the fifth time this year,

Nary more left than a sad chuckle,

The guru may say yet, with a look quite severe:

“Point the finger at Nick Arbuckle.”

Trust the process

In the East Final last season, Dane Evans went 16-of-16 for 249 yards against Chris Jones’s Argos defence. The year is no longer 2015.

After multiple years of lousy results, what does reputation actually mean?

A field goal from the nine-yard line down 28-8;

Congratulations on making a three-score game a three-score game!

What sense was there in an unwinnable challenge late;

If there’s one thing well-earned, it is shame.

Not to overlook handing off with 31 seconds left in the half,

To a guy who had, at most, one healthy calf.


Kevin Brown’s injury caused much pain,

Not least of all to disinterest’s bane,

The offence was reduced again to a single dimension,

Beyond Dillon Mitchell, hardly anyone deserves a mention,

Six catches for 107 yards is terrific,

The gap to number two was wider than the Pacific.

Toil and trouble

While Chris Osei-Kusi had a single catch,

Derel Walker is the focus, at a yardage match;

19 yards for them both, Walker’s from three catches,

But on eight targets – among the peak of mismatches,

Is he and his quarterback, who keeps leading away,

From sad Walker’s preferred spot: the field of play.


Sergio Castillo made his one field goal,

But it’s the little one who continues to roll,

Christian Saulsberry, with a 40-yard best,

A fumble was one blemish, though strong was the rest.


“Hope” is the thing with feathers,

For the Elks, it’s three newcomers who can fly:

Mitchell, Saulsberry, Brown,

Budding stars, none of them are quick to go down,

Sweet as Thanksgiving Day apple pie,

Leave it in their hands – the rounded leather.


Two more games, then the season is done;

The Argos are in Edmonton next Saturday.

No more absurd than third-and-one from the gun;

Hope you enjoyed, though I’m no Hemmingway.

The football being bad means finding other ways to have fun;

What is life without whimsy, eh?

Next week the Elks will have to fight not to be outdone;

By the Golden Bears and Dinos earlier in the day.

Mike Ludwig enjoys math, chess, and football, all of which are kind of related. He lives in Edmonton and does not endorse Rod Black's metaphors. Follow him on twitter at @CityOfChamps14.