‘Twas the night before Christmas: 2021 CFL edition

With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, I give you the second annual CFL edition of ‘Twas the night before Christmas:

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas, all across the whole league

The people were suffering through COVID fatigue.

Fanbases moods, so incredibly somber,

Excepting, of course, those of the champion Blue Bombers.

 

The people retired to their warm lakeside cottage,

Sadly preparing for a potential work stoppage

The last CBA is set to expire,

Fans, players, and teams starting to perspire.

 

The pressure exists to get something done,

And with that, ideas float that are incredibly dumb.

The league says that, “No stone will be left unturned!”

For improving the league that the young have now spurned.

 

The last big idea was to draw global attention,

but GM’s struggled with Global player retention.

Some said, “Let them kick, how bad can it be?”

Then cut the poor sod after going zero for three.

 

Up next from this group of makeup-less clowns,

A suggestion to look at using four downs.

An outcry went out across the land and

They heard from folks who now felt abandoned.

 

“Our balls are still bigger!” those older fans cried,

Desperate to not be left by wayside.

“How dare you change rules, which are so fundamental?

It’s enough to make some of us start to go mental!”

 

There were other changes to fix problems so glaring,

As the league has adopted revenue sharing.

So now the good folks of the middle-most places,

Could help other billionaires keep filling their faces.

 

Post Grey Cup, the schedule was quickly released,

Allowing fans to look forward to booking with ease,

Trips to see games and cheer their teams on,

Provided that COVID is finally gone.

 

Yet the new CBA is a problem that still lingers,

That needs some massaging with delicate fingers.

To make sure our football suffers no substantial delays,

With players and staff all handsomely paid.

 

As free agents galore will search for new contracts,

Exhaustively speaking to all of their contacts.

Each hoping to negotiate a relative steal,

And hopefully signing a multi-year deal.

 

Single team longevity sells merch, you see,

As nobody wants an obsolete jersey.

We shouldn’t need a lineup card for every game,

Wondering who will be next to earn some small fame.

 

Keep players, keep coaches, keep offices staffed,

To do otherwise would be incredibly daft.

The teams with the most success in this venture,

Are the teams whose staff have the most tenure.

 

The work must be done to correct the league’s faults,

Before it’s just some old footage locked up in a vault.

It’s the best football going, NFL be damned.

Canadians love it, together we stand.

 

Because no matter the challenge, and no matter the strife,

We here at 3Down, need CFL in our life.

So to all of our readers who fight the good fight,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

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