Dumb & Dumber: How to determine a 2020 Grey Cup champion

Photo courtesy: Scott Grant/CFLPhotoArchive.com.

The Grey Cup wasn’t handed out on Sunday and that sucks.

It’s a moment of pure joy that we usually get to experience at this time of year. An entire season of hard work pays off for one team — the confetti flies, families get to take part and the celebration makes it all worth it.

The mug has been handed out every year for a century, but the streak doesn’t have to end this way. We can make it happen. The Grey Cup could still be presented to someone this year.

But how? Hmmm.

This calls for creative (and dumb) thinking.

Food Feud

If there’s one thing many football players love doing more than playing, it’s eating food.

Earlier this non-season we saw former CFL offensive lineman Peter Dyakowski take on TSN reporter Matthew Scianitti in a Timbits eating competition. We’ve seen other CFLers compete at the table over the years too, most notably Riders’ defensive lineman Zach Evans and current free agent offensive lineman Derek Dennis during Grey Cup week with Travis of the 2 and Out CFL Podcast.


This could easily be handled digitally with one player from each team, winner take all. Or if you wanted to make it a team effort, every team could have a bunch of guys take part.

We could also flip this the other way and have players prepare meals for a panel of judges, like on the Food Network. At the very least, it would be entertaining, especially if players who can’t cook are chosen.

Bar Games

We all love the Grey Cup, but it’s not all about the game. It’s about the week. It’s about the parties. The celebration.

Let’s tap into that to crown a 2020 champion.

This could be taken to another level by giving the fans a chance to win it all for their team. The league probably can’t endorse binge drinking, but the games that usually surround such activities certainly could. What fans did before, during and after would be entirely up to them.

Beer pong? Giant Jenga? Corn hole? There are all kinds of games that could be rolled out as one marathon of sorts to determine a champ. The bonus here is the fans representing that team ultimately gets to lift the trophy — something every fan base deserves this year.

Skills to pay the bills

Want the Grey Cup to be handed out on the merits of football? Sure, that’s fair.

We can’t gather and play games this year but a one-day skills competition is certainly possible.

Quarterbacks throwing footballs through tires, receivers making one-handed catches, kickers trying to make super long field goals, punters trying to hit coffin corners, defensive backs knocking down passes. There are all kinds of opportunities here to determine a winner — a team effort built by adding up points across the board.

Photo courtesy: Scott Grant/CFLPhotoArchive.com.


Feats of strengths are always good, especially when we’re talking about walking cartoon characters.

I’ve pitched this idea before on the Green Cast as something that should be a part of Grey Cup week and this year would be the best time to roll it out.

The Mascot Royal Rumble.

This year’s match would not only debut the format but it would actually be for the title, too. Every mascot is eligible, so odds are good for teams with more than one. Could we see surprise appearances from past mascots? Perhaps. Everything is on the table.

This is also an easy made-for-TV event where most of the combatants would already be wearing masks.

All in all, 2020 has been brutal and any of these would provide some much-needed entertainment.

Joel Gasson is a Regina-based sports writer, broadcaster and football fanatic. He is also a beer aficionado.