Madani: Stampeders’ battle with drug tester their toughest of the night

Well, 44 B.C. Lions couldn’t take down the Stampeders, but an elderly gentleman wearing rubber gloves nearly did.

It was about a half-hour after Bo Levi hoisted that West Division trophy into the Calgary night that the real adversity came.

In the hallway of McMahon Stadium, just a couple of doors down from the resigned Lions locker room, there was Drew Tate having an animated conversation with The Pissman.

See, doping control pulled Tate’s name out of the hat for drug testing. Calgary’s No. 2 quarterback provided a urine sample to The Pissman, and thought he was done. Au contraire.

Tate’s urine was too diluted. Another sample was required. Tate had post-game plans. There were beers to drink, celebrating to do. And how was he to just magically provide more urine?

“I’ve gotta go,” the 32-year-old Texan told the drug tester.

“I can’t leave your side,” the rubber-gloved Pissman told Tate.

The showdown in the hallway was the most competitive battle of the day in Calgary.

You saw what happened: The game itself was a walk in the park, of course. Bo Levi Mitchell did, again, what he always does; Jamar Wall picked off a Jon Jennings pass and took it to the crib; the Stamps led 32-0 at the half and all doubt was removed.

Mitchell, who will be named the league’s most outstanding player Thursday night, was good on 21 of his 28 passes. He slung it for 365 yards and three touchdowns. The Pissman may have been the Stamps only adversity of the night; an organizational decision to sit Bo Levi in Montreal the barrier to the Stamps having the best regular season record in league history.

That’s these Stampeders: two years after going 15-3, and being the finest CFL team since the 2002 Alouettes, a Calgary Grey Cup win next Sunday at sparsely-attended BMO Field will enter this group into the dynasty conversation.

“One thing we talking about around here is legacy,” Marquay McDaniel, who caught four balls for 131 yards and a touchdown, told me Sunday night. “We said we wanted to be great this year. One more win will make us great. That’s what we want.”

These are the 2016 Stampeders. A West division title had one of the most muted celebrations you’ll ever see in a home locker room. When Mitchell lifted the trophy, he lifted his index finger to his teammates. Not to signal they’re the best, but to remind them there was another task left. One more win to go.

“The legacy we’re trying to leave is be one of the best teams to ever play this game,” Mitchell told me matter-of-factly. “You can’t do that by squeaking out games. We’re coming out to dominate any chance we get.”

This Stampeders era is one to behold. They don’t just win games – the foot is on the throttle. It’s what the greats do. One more victory Sunday against the RedBlacks will cement it.

“I love going up against the best in the game,” Bo Levi said. “Henry (Burris) is, and has been, one of the best in the league for a very long time. We’ll respect these guys, but we won’t fear them. We’ll go out there and play those guys. We’ll do what we do.”

Respect, but not fear. Like how Tate handled the dude in the rubber gloves after. A compromise was made. Drew and his new friend left McMahon together. He couldn’t leave his side, after all.

Tate lives close to the stadium. They went back to the house. The refrigerator opened. One California long neck popped, then a second, then another. The free-spirit Texan prefers his brews to have hops and some kick, and so the three Lagunitas IPAs didn’t stand a chance. Once the third beer – with 6.2% alcohol content in each of ’em, no less – was drained, Tate’s head was right and his bladder full.

He and The Pissman returned to McMahon. Another sample provided. Crisis averted.

Everyone in Calgary won Sunday: the Stamps, those hopeful of a dynasty, heck even The Pissman got what he wanted.

One more to go for the Stampeders. To do what they do.

Arash Madani

Arash Madani

Arash Madani is a reporter for Sportsnet. He has staffed 11 Grey Cups & does play-by-play for CIS Football. His dream: the Gaiters playing for a Vanier.
Arash Madani
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Arash Madani
About Arash Madani (14 Articles)
Arash Madani is a reporter for Sportsnet. He has staffed 11 Grey Cups & does play-by-play for CIS Football. His dream: the Gaiters playing for a Vanier.
Contact: Website

20 Comments on Madani: Stampeders’ battle with drug tester their toughest of the night

  1. Jim Sutherland // November 21, 2016 at 1:13 pm //

    Sparsely attended? No editorializing in that description. I can see why CFL fans object to your scorched earth policy toward the league. Here is a newsflash for you Sport: The Grey Cup will not be the sparsely attended event you predict in your relentless effort to belittle the league because the rest of Canada cares about the game-even if you and your fellow inhabitants of Canada’s least-loved city do not.

  2. This is what you write about, after such an amazing performance by the Stamps? If your intent was a tongue in cheek narrative, it got lost in how disrespectful your cute little story is. No mention of the adversity with the loss of Mylan Hicks, the performance of Travis Lulay or how classy Wally Buono responded to the game. Really? “The Pissman?” Your disrespect to this man’s career, and how important it is, is appalling! I’m sure you are proud of yourself. I wonder if your mother would be. My 2 cents

  3. Robin (from THE city) // November 21, 2016 at 2:08 pm //

    When all else fails just put the cup game in Toronto.

    Looks like the well is running dry…

  4. This league needs to get serious about its officiating or the game on Sunday means nothing.

  5. George Fogarty // November 21, 2016 at 4:42 pm //

    Sweet Jesus this is the best you can do for the Stamps junior? No wonder nobody watches Sportsnet.

  6. Madani; Why write about the CFL if your intent is to trash it? Ottawa & Calgary fans will fill BMO. Its only 3 hrs. from Ott to TO. I travelled 5hrs to Montreal to see the Cats in the Cup. BTW Why not call him the Wee Pee man. Piss is still a bad word. Your Mama should wash your mouth out with soap.

  7. Get this CFL hater off of this website, this “reporter” cannot say even 1 positive thing about anything. Let him go and never post anything from his again. Do a service to any and all football fans!

  8. I tried to give Arash a second shot. I really did. He wrote some good pieces here. But I just do not understand his insistence on taking shots at the league. He says the GreyCup is going to be sparsely attended. Well, today they announced it will likely be a sellout (as we all expected). Also, what professional uses the term “piss” in their articles? Have a little class.

    • Terry Baxter // November 22, 2016 at 3:10 pm //

      Yes will be a ‘Bob Young’ sellout. You know the kind folks. The kind where all tickets are sold and yet thousands stay away thus thousands of empty seats. But honestly they are really sold. This game will not be near a sellout. No GC buzz in the city at all. I’m sure there will be a few hundred fans in the streets etc Friday and Saturday nights but that is the best that can be hoped for. Face it folks the league is on the skids.

  9. How many beers did Tate have after he left the pissman?? And did he drink any other liquor with higher alcohol content? I can’t go to sleep without knowing. Please tell us Arash!!!

  10. This might be the worst piece of shit you’ve ever written hahaha

  11. Arash you should be ashamed of this. Drew turf this CFL Hater and Sportsnet Flunky

  12. This article was and is pure garbage.

  13. Get this ah off your site. He works for rogers/sports net who are out to destroy CFL.
    CFL fans should have nothing to do with them.

  14. DundasDude // November 22, 2016 at 7:15 am //

    This guy’s articles are a biased joke.

  15. Manitoba Joe // November 22, 2016 at 11:00 am //

    This website is the Russia Today of CFL coverage.

    (Although I admit I got a chuckle out of “the Pissman”. What kind of education do you need to land that job? I hope he gets paid well.)

  16. Tate should give you a golden shower Madani

  17. Arash, what does Travis Lulay think about being 2nd to the Pissman? Ask him for me on your show this week, thanks brah.

  18. Great….Arash “I have no agenda, honest I’m just being unbiased” Madani, you might want to complete a phone call, or some ACTUAL research before you take your obligatory “shot” at the CFL and just casually state “next Sunday at sparsely-attended BMO Field”. Hell, just scroll around THIS very web site for the following: “Grey Cup organizers report spike in ticket sales, say game will be SOLD OUT”!!!!!!! But do you think this “stand up” genius has the character to just say “oh, sorry I was wayyyyyyy off, I know it’s the Sportsnet (my puppet masters) agenda to ALWAYS take a shot at the CFL, but I was wrong”….too much to ask.

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