Many will flock to theatres this weekend to watch two titans of fiction clash in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. In honour of the film’s release, I thought it would be fun to cast members of the Hamilton Tiger-Cats in the roles of various members of the Justice League.
Zach Collaros as Batman
Batman is a man of two sides, the Bruce Wayne persona on one side and the other side that beats the tar out of criminals on a nightly basis. Zach Collaros also seemingly has two sides, the nice, quiet, noncontroversial side we see off the field in interviews, and the side that beats the tar out of opponents on the football field on a weekly basis. Batman is also the world’s greatest detective, using his planning skills to gain an upper hand on his opponents by knowing their strengths and weaknesses, and how to attack them. That sounds like a perfect way to describe the Ticats quarterback.
Luke Tasker as Superman
Superman is the all-American boy, sometimes referred to as the Big, Blue Boy Scout, that stems from the wholesome image he projects that to his upbringing in Smallville. Luke Tasker is the all-American guy, with a kind demeanour that stems from his upbringing in upstate New York. Superman can fly and do things humans cannot (because he’s not human). We have seen Tasker fly and do things humans cannot. Case in point:
Casting Superman is always difficult, but the one player on the Ticats perfectly suited for the role of the Last Son of Krypton is Luke Tasker.
Kent Austin as Lex Luthor
Is there any member of the Ticats more suited to play Lex Luthor than Kent Austin? Luthor is a man with genius intellect who controls mostly everything in Metropolis and has not made many friends around the DC universe. If you swap Metropolis for Hamilton and DC universe for CFL, you are basically describing Kent Austin. Now we just need to convince Austin to shave his head and he’s our perfect Luthor.
Terrence Toliver as Wonder Woman
This was probably the hardest role to cast, with many players cycling through before I landed on Toliver. Diana of Themyscira is an Amazonian warrior who has power, speed and the ability to fly. Toliver is tall, fast and has great leaping ability. He is one of the more well-rounded receivers on the team, just like Wonder Woman is one of the most well-rounded heroes in the Justice League. While not an easy decision to make, Terrence Toliver is my Wonder Woman.
Brandon Banks as The Flash
Does this one really need any explanation? The Flash is the fastest man on Earth and Brandon Banks in the fastest man in the CFL. This needs no further elaboration.
John Chick as The Green Lantern
Regardless of which version of the Green Lantern you are talking about (there have been many), one constant is the green power ring. The Lanterns can use the ring to create anything their imagination can conjure up, much like it seems Chick can make sacks appear out of nowhere. And there is also that thing where Chick spent most of his career wearing a hideous green and white uniform. It all adds up to Chick being the perfect person to take on the role of the Green Lantern.
Simoni Lawrence as Shazam!
Shazam! is a boy in a man’s body. Literally. Through magic, young Billy Batson can transform himself into the superhero Shazam! No one on the Ticats combines child-like enthusiasm inside a grown man’s body quite like Simoni Lawrence. His personality is infectious and you can tell he is having fun, but once on the field, the man is all business. No one is better suited for the role of Shazam! than Simoni Lawrence.
C.J. Gable as Cyborg
Cyborg’s origin is that of a football player who suffers a freak accident and the only way to keep him alive was to make him, well, a cyborg (hence the name). No one on the Ticats has suffered more freak accidents than C.J. Gable. And did you see the elbow brace that Gable played with last year? The guy looked like a cyborg. For those reasons, Gable is my choice for Cyborg.
Chad Owens as Aquaman
Casting Aquaman depends on which version of the character you are using. With the new version being someone who with a more Hawaiian look to him (as opposed to the blond-haired version of the past), the obvious choice to play the King of the Seven Seas is Chad Owens. Aquaman has also had conflicts with the Justice League, and his story usually begins with him being reluctant to side with the League and takes on the role as a nemesis at first. It doesn’t take a genius to draw the parallels between Arthur Curry and Chad Owens.
Andy Fantuz as Martian Manhunter
Another green connection, since the man also known as J’onn J’onzz has green skin and Andy Fantuz once played for the Roughriders, but this casting choice also makes sense in the context of Luke Tasker as Superman. The Man of Steel has said that the only person more powerful than himself is Martian Manhunter. They both have similar powers, like Tasker and Fantuz have similar skill sets, but the Last Son of Mars has a slight edge because of experience (J’onzz’s age is unknown, but has been listed as upwards of 225 million years old). While Fantuz isn’t quite that old, he does hold an experience advantage over his fellow receiver. For those reasons, Andy Fantuz is the easy choice to play Martian Manhunter.
And what would a superhero team-up be without a few villains to fight, right?
Peter Dyakowski as Brainiac
Peter Dyakowski was once named Canada’s Smartest Person. Brainiac has twelfth-level intelligence. It is not hard to connect the dots here.
Ted Laurent as Darkseid
Darkseid is the despotic, all-powerful ruler of the planet Apokolips whose goal is to conquer the universe. He is massive and hard to defeat. Sounds a lot like Ted Laurent (minus the whole despot thing). Laurent is a massive man who conquers opposing offensive linemen with his strength and power. Laurent may not have Omega beams to take down opponents, but this was still a fairly easy choice to make.